Week 1 – The Journey Begins

Prov 23:7   ^“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”   This verse has been looping in my head for two weeks, ever since I knew I would be starting this journey.  I have known that verse my whole life, but not being a “student” of thinking, I never really thought about it!  How weird that sounds!   I’ve learned quite a bit in just a few days.

I have learned that it is very difficult to quiet my mind, and push out those thoughts that agitate there like a washing machine.  I have also confirmed what Dr. Phil has said – as you try to extinguish a behavior, it will increase before it decreases.  He has generally been speaking to parents who want to change undesirable traits in their children, but it is equally true when trying to change a behavior in ones self.   Procrastination increases, which I now know is my old blueprint rearing it’s ugly head – but now that I see that ugly head and recognize it for what it is, I’m starting to understand that it is a thief – robbing me of what I should be doing, then leaving guilt in its wake – which then becomes one of those agitating thoughts.  And just like the washing machine, the cycle repeats.

I have learned that I am a prisoner to bad habits.  Sure, I accomplish what I must – but what about those other hours?  What am I avoiding by filling my time up with meaningless things?  Surely time on the internet and watching some TV isn’t hurting anything.   Umm, not so fast.    Checking facebook, watching a show, playing a game – the time adds up. . .and up. . .and up – and keeps me locked into meaningless, time-sucking activity.  I have also heard for years that you don’t just stop a bad habit, you have to replace it with a good habit.  When you hear the same thing from multiple sources, it’s a clue – pay attention!

Part of this six-month journey is to form good habits.  Journaling will help to keep me focused, which has always been a challenge.  Look – there’s a squirrel!  Oh, the phone is ringing!   Better get those dishes started!  Hey- who’s at the door?  I need that dress clean for work tomorrow!  I better get dinner started!  The dishwater is cold – start over!  Wait, what?  I’m late for my class!

I have been tasked this week to read five things a day.  That’s all.  In small, manageable pieces.  My old blueprint is not happy.  But that is good news!  It means that I’m becoming aware of where the problems are, and I can start to chip off the chunks of concrete and find out what’s really there.

I have learned that 15 minutes – (of silence with no activity) –  is a very long time.