My first real job while in college was as a waitress in a large, popular seafood chain restaurant. I knew nothing about seafood, and had never been a server, so there was a whole lot to learn. It was very hard, and very confusing to me.
Come to think of it, everything was the same color as well – beige. Fried or broiled – – fish, shrimp, potatoes, hush puppies, etc. are all the same color. I digress. Anyway, I have a very distinct memory after having been on the job about a week or so. My order was out of the kitchen, and had to be taken out within a minute of hitting the pick-up window. All of the sudden – it all made sense! The Shore Platter was on a round plate and included 6 shrimp, a whiting filet, baked potato and hush puppies. The Seafood Dinner was on an oval platter, with fried shrimp, broiled snapper, fried clams, potato and hush puppies, and on, and on, and on! My 19-year-old self finally saw through the maze and haze and all those different meal combinations finally made sense to me and it all seemed so easy!
This week has not gone well for me MKMMA-wise. I was enthusiastic on Sunday during the webinar – and more excited when I watched the video on youtube where it could actually be understood. Then I started getting sick and woke up Monday morning feeling terrible – – -but that is no excuse to stay home from work, so off I drove at 4 am for a thrilling 10 hours of feeling like crap and catching up from being off the week before. And again on Tuesday, same thing. My KC Royals played Tuesday night, but I had to go to bed and try not to die, so I missed that, and I missed them win Wednesday night. I tried to keep up with my reading, and did poorly with that – and could read nothing out loud – – my throat hurt too bad. . .and when I tried to 15 minute sit, I couldn’t be still for catching my nose which was running all over the place. I’m still waiting on my 3rd revision of my DMP, and I think I hate it, too, and may want to change it again. I’m feeling very disconnected from my journey this week.
So, why am I talking about fried fish? Fried Fish Gives Me Hope! After struggling to learn, and persevering though when I didn’t think I would ever learn all those menu options – I did! And I will struggle and persevere and I know that one day soon, this too will drop into place, make sense, and all seem so easy!
I have to learn to give myself a break and put the red pen away. I am no Wonder Woman, and my best will just be different week to week. I think I’m getting to be ok with that!
(p.s. Be Royal!)